We all know Trump loves gold.  Now we’re told Trump loves golden showers too!  According to an unverified report,

“Trump’s unorthodox behavior in Russia over the years provided the authorities with enough embarrassing material on the now-Republican presidential candidate to be able to blackmail him if they so wished.”

The new allegations of ‘perverted sexual acts’ by Mr. Grab-Them-By-The-Pussy stem from a document that has been circulating in Washington and among the press from many weeks.  News outlets had not released the opposition research report because they were unable to independently verify the report.  Then the news broke that the US intelligence community briefed both President Obama and the president-elect  on the existence of the report, which was supposedly compiled by a former British intelligence operative who was considered to be credible by United States intelligence officials.

Initially the president then the president-elect were given a two-page summary of the report claiming that Russian intelligence had incriminating evidence of a financial and personal nature against  Mr. Grab-Them-By-The-Pussy.  Following the release of the full report by media sources, we’ve learned the report says the FSB (a Russian spy agency) arranged “a number of prostitutes to perform a golden showers (urination) show in front of him”.  It also indicates Trump specified this should take place at “the Ritz Carlton hotel, where he knew President and Mrs. Obama (whom he hated) had stayed on one of their official trips to Russia and defiling the bed where they had slept.”